This last weekend I went to pick up Sutton from his three week visit to his grandparents. I have to admit, I was looking forward to the drive to Nebraska. I was only going to North Platte where I was meeting my son along with my mother-in-law, so I wasn't exactly going "home". I spent the four hour drive, by myself, without any of the other children, a definite rarity. I had a lot of time to myself to think, and I've noticed before that my mind tends to wonder, maybe that's what having six kids does to you, and maybe that's why I never quite seem to finish anything.
During the drive I thought of all the things I wanted to do with my family. All of the little things that there never quite seems enough time to do. As I drove down Highway 14, I told myself (which I do every time I take that route) that one day Jeff and I will take the road less traveled and take the kids to see the Pawnee Bluffs that I can't help but stare at every time I drive by them. From the highway they just look like little humps, but I know they really are so much more.
As I continued to drive and as I reached the state line I looked over to the sign that read, "Nebraska, The Good Life." Just the same as with other trips back, once I drove across this invisible line, I got this calming feeling, I'm home, I thought. This time though, the thought of being "home" wasn't the actual place, it was the fact that I was on my way to pick up my son. That feeling of "home" was me knowing that those who were most important to me would all be back together again after a summer of back-and-forth visits to grandparents. That was me going home.
During our trek back to Colorado, Sutton and I talked about the neat things we saw, from the sunflower fields to the smell of the cattle farms. It was a series of conversations that I'm sure I will forever remember. The sun was starting to set and the colors in the sky ranged from a vibrant orange to a deep, cool lavender. "How do people know that people who are invisible are really there?", Sutton asked. I wasn't sure what he meant exactly, so of course, I asked. He elaborated, "How do people know that God is really there. I know he's there all the time. But do all the people know that he is with all of them all of the time?"
I was impressed that my six year old was actually taking the time to think about this. I also felt that God was providing the perfect means for me to attempt to explain this in the best way I could. I looked up at the colorful sky and said "Do you see all those colors in the sky? God made those. He makes things like sunsets so that he can show people he is there." I wasn't quite sure if he understood what it was I was trying to explain. "So Grandma can see the sunset when I see it even though she is far away and God is with both of us, right?"
This revelation of his made my heart swell. I don't remember having thoughts like that when I was a child, perhaps I did and it wasn't significant to me like it is when you listen to your own child explain how he sees the world. God has blessed Jeff and I in so many ways. One of the best (or should I say, the six best) gifts He has given us are our children. I can take that trip back to Nebraska a hundred more times, but no matter what, I am not really "home" unless I am with the seven loves of my life. Seven! Oh, how I am blessed! With the everyday rituals of fixing meal, cleaning up spills and breaking up fights, I do have to remind myself how fortunate I am. And though there are moments where I find myself asking, "Seriously, was this His plan for me?", I do have these amazing moments when I remember how lucky I am that He chose me to be their mom. God is with all of us, all of the time. He's there during the sunsets in life, and each day when the sun rises again. I may not be in Nebraska, but I am loving living the Good Life that God has given me.